There will come a moment in your wedding planning that no one warns you about.
You have your venue. You have saved your date. You are now excited.
And then you open Instagram, Google, a couple of directories and Pinterest and suddenly it feels like you have been dropped into a sea of celebrants, photographers, florists, bands, singers, caterers, stylists, hair and make up artists, cake designers, stationers, content creators, and people who all look brilliant.
And you are thinking, “how am I meant to choose”. You are not behind. You are normal.
As an experienced wedding celebrant I have seen it all, and heard it all from my couples. Read on for mycalm, practical guide to choosing YOUR wedding suppliers in a way that makes planning feel easier, not heavier. It is written from a wedding experts perspective, with UK realities in mind.
The goal is not to find the best supplier on the internet
The goal is to find the best supplier for YOU.
Your supplier who:
· Understands what matters to you
· Has done your kind of wedding before
· Communicates in a way that makes you feel safe
· Fits your budget without leaving you feeling stretched and stressed
· Has a process that makes the whole thing feel handled
In other words, you are not hiring a list of services. You are building a team. And that is what I aim to do for you.
Step 1: Start with three words and one non negotiable
Before you enquire with anyone, do this first. It will save you hours.
Pick three words for your day
These are not colours. They are feelings.
Examples:
· Warm, relaxed, candlelit
· Elegant, modern, editorial
· Joyful, loud, party
· Romantic, intimate, slow
· Classic, timeless, polished
If you are stuck, think about what you want your guests to say on the way home.
· It felt so them
· It was effortless
· The food was unreal
· It was like a weekend away
· I cried the whole ceremony
Choose one non negotiable
This is the thing you care about most.
Examples:
· The photos have to feel natural
· The celebrant ceremony has to feel personal
· The food has to be a highlight
· The music has to be a proper party
· The flowers have to feel abundant
This becomes your filter. When you are overwhelmed, you come back to it.
Step 2: Decide what you want to spend, then protect it
Budget talk can feel awkward, but it is one of the kindest things you can do for yourselves.
A simple way to approach it is:
· Decide your overall budget
· Decide your top three priorities.
· Allocate more to what you will notice most
· Leave breathing space for the bits people forget
The bits wedding couples forget to budget for:
· Dress alterations
· Delivery and set up fees
· Travel for suppliers
· Meals for suppliers
· Postage for invitations
· Gratuities if you choose to tip
· Weather plans (umbrellas, heaters, a marquee side)
You do not need a perfect spreadsheet. You need a budget that does not rely on hope.
Step 3: Build a shortlist that is small on purpose
A common mistake is to message ten suppliers in each category and then feel buried in replies.
Instead, aim for:
· 3 photographers
· 2 to 3 hair and make up artists
· 2 florists
· 2 bands or DJs
· 2 celebrants
When you look at a supplier, ask:
· Do I like their style?
· Can I imagine this at our venue, in our season?
· Does their work feel consistent, not just one good image?
· Do they explain what working with them is like?
· Does the celebrant ‘get us’.
If the answer is mostly yes, shortlist.
If you are trying to convince yourself, do not.
Step 4: Look for proof of process, not just pretty work
Pretty work gets you to enquire.
Process is what makes planning feel easy.
Signs of a strong process:
· Clear next steps
· Transparent pricing or at least a guide
· A timeline of what happens when
· A contract and payment schedule that makes sense
· A calm tone, even when they are busy
If you want planning to feel lighter, choose suppliers who are organised.
Step 5: Ask questions that reveal what it will feel like to work with them
You do not need to interrogate anyone. You just need to ask questions that reveal their approach.
Here are some you can copy and paste.
Celebrant
· How do you make the ceremony personal?
· Do you help us write our vows and commitments?
· What if we want a symbolic ritual, our dog involved, Auntie Jean to do a reading?
· How do we contact you?
Photographer
· How do you help camera shy couples feel comfortable?
· How do you handle rain and low light in the UK?
· What does a typical wedding day timeline look like with you?
· Can we see two full galleries from a similar season?
Florist
· How do you make a design feel full and intentional at our budget?
· What flowers are likely to be in season for our date?
· What is your approach to reusing flowers across the day?
· Who sets up and who clears down?
Planner or coordinator
· What do you take off our plate, specifically?
· How do you handle last minute changes on the day?
· What is your communication style in the lead up?
Hair and make up
· How do you make skin look like skin?
· What is your approach if someone is anxious or does not wear much make up?
· How do you schedule timings so the morning stays calm?
You are not just collecting answers. You are noticing how you feel when you read them.
Step 6: Pay attention to communication, because it predicts everything
This is the part couples often ignore, and then regret.
If someone is slow to reply, vague, or makes you feel like you are an inconvenience now, it rarely improves later.
On the other hand, if someone is clear, kind, and confident, it is a green flag.
Green flags
· Replies feel warm and specific, not copy and paste
· They answer your questions properly
· They offer a clear next step
· They set expectations without being rigid
Red flags
· You cannot get a clear quote or scope
· They are pushy about booking without understanding what you want
· They dismiss your concerns
· Their contract is unclear
You are allowed to choose suppliers who make you feel calm.
Step 7: Choose based on fit, not fear
Sometimes couples book quickly because they are scared of missing out.
A little urgency is real, especially for popular dates.
But fear based decisions often lead to:
· Booking someone you are not fully sure about
· Spending more than you planned
· Feeling stressed every time you have to message them
A better approach is to create gentle structure.
A calm booking timeline
· Shortlist this week
· Enquire next week
· Calls the week after
· Decide within 7 days of calls
That is still quick. It is just not frantic.
Step 8: If you are stuck between two suppliers, use the comfort test
When you are torn between two brilliant options, the deciding factor is often comfort.
Ask yourselves:
· Who do we trust more?
· Who feels easier to talk to?
· Who seems more prepared?
· Who would we want around us on a slightly stressful day?
Because even the most beautiful work will not feel worth it if the process is stressful.
Step 10: Remember you can build your team in layers
You do not have to book everyone at once.
A simple order that often reduces stress:
1. Venue
2. Celebrant
3. Planner or coordinator (if you want one)
4. Photographer and videographer
5. Caterer if not in house
6. Entertainment
7. Hair and make up
8. Florist and styling
9. Cake and stationery
If you are planning a shorter timeline, you can still do this. Just tighten the gaps.
Final thoughts
Choosing your wedding suppliers is not meant to feel like a full time job.
With your wedding celebrant you need to feel comfortable with them because you will be entrusting them with your love story. (That’s the part I love.)
When you start with the feeling you want, protect your budget, keep your shortlist small, and choose people with a clear process, planning gets easier.
And the best part is this, you don’t have to do it on your own. Feel free to reach out if you’d like a chat about your dream day. And if you choose me as your wedding celebrant, I’ll be there every step of the way.